Saw (2004)

Uruguayan title
“The Game of Fear”

Directed by: James Wan

Written by: James Wan, Leigh Wennell

Starring: Leigh Wennell, Cary Elwes, Danny Glover

Running Time: 1 hour, 43 minutes

Rating: R

Pre-Conceived Notions: I’ve known about Saw for a really long time, since it came out when I was in college, and since I’m not really that interested in horror at all, I never actively sought it out. And then the first Saw sequel came out, and then the next one came out, and I’d hear about some of the really fucked up shit that would happen in these movies, and decided to nope myself out of ever watching any Saw movie ever. But I told my friend the other day that I hadn’t seen Saw, and she instantly said, “Oh my god!! You haven’t seen Saw?! I’m coming over with the DVD!” So… I guess I’m going to see Saw just so I can say I saw Saw. 

Also, I have a question about the title. Is it ‘Saw’ like the past tense of ‘see’? Or is it ‘Saw’ like the tool? I guess I will find out. 

Bit-O-Trivia from the IMDb page: “Casting director Amy Lippens chose her ex-husband in the role of Mark, the man who burns himself alive.” 

1 hour 43 minutes later…: For a ‘psychological thriller,’ this movie was not as bad as I was thinking it would be. It didn’t make me jump. Although some of the scenarios people had to go through were kind of messed up. Like the reverse bear trap? And then performing an exploratory on a guy while he’s alive to find the key in his stomach? Dude. That’s really messed up. And doing post movie research, I found out that that was Shawnee Smith, the girl who played the quirky airhead on Ted Danson’s post-Cheers comedy Becker! I never in a million years would have guessed that was her. 

But I like how the pace of the movie went along and you never really knew who was behind the curtain pulling the strings until the very end. I’m not going to do the spoiler thing, because there maybe someone who is even more sheltered than I am who hasn’t seen it yet, and if they knew the dead guy on the floor did it, well, they wouldn’t even need to watch the movie. So you’re not going to get a spoiler from me! No siree! 

I don’t know if it was because the shooting schedule was so tight, or what, but it seemed like every time Elwes was in a really intense scene, his English accent poked through a little bit. Whereas I never would have been able to tell the other dude was Australian. He was solid throughout the whole movie.

Final Thoughts: 5.5 out of 6 slices of pizza. It still kind of holds up for what it is, and it came out pretty good for a first-time writing/directing team. But I guess if you have the likes of Danny Glover and Cary Elwes tied to your project, it’s hard for it not to be a success. 

Deadpool (2016)

Directed by:  Tim Miller

Written by:  Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein

Running Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

Rating: R

Pre-Conceived Notions: I try to pride myself on being a pop culture nerd, but I fail really hardcore sometimes. Like I think I’ve always heard people talk about Deadpool, but I had no idea who he was, or really even what he was. And then I heard more about him, and the fact that he breaks the 4th wall and actually is conscious of the fact that he’s in a comic book? That’s so meta and weird that I don’t know why I wasn’t aware of him earlier. And apparently the movie follows suit with Deadpool making cracks about Ryan Reynolds. I wonder if there will be any mention of Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place. I loved that show!

Bit-O-Trivia from the IMDb page: “During a talk at Google, Ryan Reynolds revealed that the taxi driver ‘Dopinder’ was named after a ‘really cool guy’ he knew in elementary school, who died when he was hit by lightening. It was meant to be a tribute to him.” 

1 hour, 40 minutes later…: Let me begin by saying that I believe that one of a film’s goals is to tell a story. A complete story, even if it’s based off a comic book that a lot of people are fans of—especially if it’s based off a comic book a lot of people are fans of. A film should not just cater to the die hard fans of said comic book character, it should take people who are comic book virgins, wine them, dine them, show them a good time. Maybe buy them a drink. Spoon a little, and then tell a complete goddamn story. 

As a 100% Deadpool newbie, I have to say I was completely lost. None of the characters were flashed out for me. Who was the humongous silver Russian dude? Why is he even friends with Deadpool? And what about that chick with him that Deadpool kept making Sinéad comments at? What was her deal? 

I’m going to write another paragraph that are full of questions. Are you ready? What was Ajax/Francis’ motive for tricking people into become torture victims? Why does a deprivation of oxygen mutate and disfigure people? Why was he so sensitive about Wade divulging his identity? Who was Ajax/Francis’ assistant and why is she so much stronger than Silver Russian Dude? 

So many questions left unsatisfactorily hanging out there. Maybe people who have read Deadpool for years know what the movie is talking about, but I was just lost. I was laughing my head off at the one-liners and pop culture references that were being fired off, but I was just floating in a sea of plot waiting for someone to throw a freakin’ lifesaver. 

Final Thoughts: 4 out of 6 slices of pizza. Speaking of pizza, does anyone know what happened to the other guy from 2 Guys…? He was pretty funny, too.  

How to Be Single (2016)

Russian title:
“Actively Looking”

Directed by: Christian Ditter

Written by: Abby Kohn, Marc Silverstein, Dana Fox

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Leslie Mann, Rebel Wilson

Running Time: 1 hour, 49 minutes

Rating: R

Pre-Conceived Notions: I gotta say, living a trailer-free life is where it’s at. The only preconceived notion I had coming in to this movie was that it was a chick flick. That’s it. I had no expectations, false or otherwise, from the studio, and just sat down and watched the movie from a really pure place. I did that with Guardians of the Galaxy, and I wasn’t disappointed, so maybe I’ll make it a life rule that I never watch a trailer again as long as I shall live. You read it here first, folks!

Bit-O-Trivia from the IMDb page: “Dakota had all her tattoos covered for this role.” [Sorry. That was the most interesting bit of trivia I could find.] 

1 hour, 49 minutes later…:  Coming into this, I was expecting the formulaic rom-com scenario of watching two illogically good-looking people fall in love, fuck up really bad, miss each other miserably, have a three-minute make-up conversation, and happily ever afters, sunsets, babies, blah. I waited for that to happen the entire movie. For starters, there were no illogically good-looking people in this movie. (Sorry, Dakota. Your mom may be Melanie Griffith, and your grand-mom Tippi Hedren, but you’re just normally good looking. And you remind me of a college friend, but that’s an entirely different blog.) This was really refreshing, because I think having relatively normal looking people grounded the story a little bit. 

But throughout the movie, I kept waiting for a relationship—any relationship—to start. I was like, “Oh! Alice is going to have a fling with the bartender, and they’re going to fall in love, and then she’s going to go back to her boyfriend who she's ‘on a break’ from to break up with him, and he’s going to be in bed with another woman, and sunsets and rainbows and kids and yadda.” Nope. THEN I was like, “Oh! That wallflower stealing the WiFi at the bar is going to fall in love with the bartender, and she’ll ferret out his philandering lifestyle, and call it off, regret it, text him, and end credits.” Nope. This happened throughout the entire movie. At one point I was heard exclaiming at the screen, “Will something good happen, please?” Luckily my friend and I were pretty much the only people in the theater, so I did not get Junior Mints thrown at me. But I think it was the fact that they didn’t focus on the gushy romance and the perfect relationship and all of that stuff that gave the movie its charm. 

But you know what didn’t give the movie its charm? Rebel Wilson. I have to confess that I’ve never seen Pitch Perfect, (which I am putting on my spreadsheet right now, IRHSTOSLers. Don’t you worry.) But the fact that her character didn’t match the tone of the other characters and that she was too over-the-top and weird, it became clear to me that she was playing her PP character, but with a different name. She didn’t fit. She was a very round peg in a very square hole. The movie could have been much better if her character had been toned down a bit. 

Final Thoughts: I’m going to give this film 5 slices of pizza out of 6. It wasn’t your typical rom-com. It defied convention, which is awesome. But unfortunately, Rebel Wilson stole that one slice of pizza, mugged at me, and left before I could grab it from her. Yes. That was a fat joke, which is okay because I, too, am of the corpulent persuasion. (Love you Rebel. You're really funny. But just choose different roles. Diversify your portfolio.) To recap: Great acting. Great story. Little less Rebel would have been great.