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| Turkish title: “Designed God Zardoz” |
Directed & Written by: John Boorman
Starring: Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, Sara Kestelman
Running Time: 1 hour, 47 minutes
Rating: R
Pre-Conceived Notions: From what I’ve heard on bad movie podcasts and review sites is that it’s as if John Boorman set out to make a male version of Barbarella, inject some erudition, edginess, gratuitous sex and violence into it. That’s basically it. So I’m expecting much less shag (of the carpet variety) and a lot more WTF-ness. But what I gathered from the reviews is that the plastic quotient is fairly comparable between the two films. Plastic is our future. If you’re not on board with that, then you’re just going to be left behind.
Why I Haven't Seen This Film: Because nobody sees Zardoz on purpose. Nobody.
Bit-O-Trivia from the IMDb page: “A real life animal baboon on the set attacked a double dressed in an ape suit who was portraying a baboon.”
1 hour, 47 minutes later…: When I decided to watch this, I was really in the mood for a seriously weird movie. And when I saw the “Inflatables by…” credit pop up, I was like, “Jackpot!” Because the future = inflatables. Obvi. Also, I kind of think Boorman nailed some of the future. People talk into rings and get answers back. Siri, anyone? Spooky.
The IMDb trivia page reveals a lot about the genesis of the film, especially since it is revealed that John Boorman made it right after a project to bring the Lord of the Rings trilogy to the screen was cancelled. It makes complete sense that this was Boorman’s attempt at Lord of the Rings. The 5 different races, (the Brutals, the Eternals, the Renegades, the Apathetics and the Exterminators), the whole quest by a chosen man to destroy a thing that had a hold on society (the tabernacle versus the ring), etc. Not a bad canvas on which to start painting a picture.
But then things got sloppy. I think he wanted to put elements of the Planet of the Apes in there with the whole invasion of a strange creature that needs to be studied because science. And you can’t have science fiction without horses on a beach. He tried to then give things complexity by shoving a whole bunch of random stuff in there: crystals, baguettes, large tiki heads, boobs, Sean Connery in a wedding dress, inflatables, balls, mirrors, random projections, sex education, inflatables… you get the picture. All of it served to muddy the whole message of the movie, which is that dying and sex are essential parts of the human experience, and that the Wizard of Oz is evil and must be destroyed. Worst. Twist. Ever. It’s even got Shyamalan beat.
Final Thoughts: The movie tried to be edgy and weird and sexual and failed. But it was kind of interesting to see a movie in which the happy ending was that everybody died at the end. Oh. Sorry. (***SPOILER!!!***) I always do that too late. 3 out of 6 slices. Because inflatables are hard to ignore.
