Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)

Portuguese title:
“The Magic Jalopy”

Directed by: Ken Hughes

Written by: Roald Dahl, Ian Fleming, Ken Hughes

Starring: Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries

Running Time: 2 hours, 25 minutes

Rating: G

Pre-Conceived Notions: Whenever I see this movie in my mind, I always picture a three-way hybrid between Mary Poppins, the Wizard of Oz, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. And then my mind goes to the child catcher which I think I first saw in a Cracked article about really creepy scenes in kid’s movies. But I need some whimsey in my life after the last movie I saw, so bring on that child catcher! Bit o’ Trivia: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was used as the theme song on the first Wheel of Fortune pilot way back in 1973. The show was called Shopper’s Bazaar, and played more like a hospital drama than a game show. 

Why I Haven't Seen This Film: There was a moratorium on whimsey in my house for much of the ’80s. I don’t know why. I was so glad when the ’90s came along. A ten-year lack of whimsey is tough on a person, I don’t care who you are.

2 hours, 25 minutes later…: What a strange little movie that was. I think I was right with my hybrid assessment. You had all the pomp and circumstance of Wizard of Oz’s Munchkinland with all the soldiers and stuff, Mary Poppins with people flying around, and Willy Wonka with the whole candy factory theme, and creepy stuff. Yes, no chickens were decapitated during the course of the movie, but the child catcher scene was kind of disturbing. Roald Dahl was a little too obsessed with two things: candy factories and creepy things happening to children. 

And where did Dick Van Dyke’s character come from, anyway? Why is he the only person in the film with an American accent? There is a disorder out there where people have a stroke and they make a full recovery except for one very peculiar thing: for the rest of their lives, they speak in a foreign accent. I think it’s called Foreign Accent Syndrome. NPR did a story on it a while back. That must be what happened to our friend, the inventor. That’s the only thing that fits.

So, kids, what did this little fantastical fairy tale of a movie teach us? Well, it taught us that if you kiss someone, you have to marry them, no ifs, ands or buts. Also, don’t trust strange men with big noses when they try to lure you into their steel cages with the promise of ice cream. And finally, only rich people can marry rich people. That’s the way it’s been since Time Immemorial. 

Final Thoughts: 4 out of 6 slices of pizza. It was great seeing Benny Hill out of his natural habitat of chasing scantily clad British bombshells around a soundstage all sped up with Yackety Sax playing in the background. The music was forgettable, but the story was fun and I think children of all ages would still enjoy this even today.