The Fault in Our Stars (2014)

French title:
“Our Opposing Stars”

Directed by: Josh Boone

Written by: John Green, Michael H Weber, Josh Neustadter

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, Laura Dern

Running Time: 2 hours, 6 minutes

Rating: PG-13

Pre-Conceived Notions: I know what’s going to happen in the movie, because I just read the book. Unless it’s one of those movie where they say, ‘To heck with the plot! We’re going to make our own movie and have the same characters and have vague plot points here and there that resemble the plot of the actual book so we can yoink the recognizability of its title so we can become stinkin’ rich!” See: The Shining. Kubrick made made that movie his own to such an extent that not only did Stephen King hate it, but he “remade” the movie in the ‘90s. From what I heard, this isn’t the case with this movie, so I’ll just say that I already know what’s going to happen and just leave it at that.

Why I Haven't Seen This Film: John Green, the author himself, told me through my laptop on the Tube of You not to see the movie before I read the book, so I obliged.  

Bit-O-Trivia from the IMDb page: “Author John Green based the character Hazel was [sic] a young girl named of Esther Earl who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Green met her during a Harry Potter convention in 2009 noticing her carrying an oxygen tank. He came to like her because of some of the videos she put up on YouTube as well as her humor and openness. From the time they met to her death at the age of 16 in 2010, Green and Earl would exchange correspondence.”

2 hours, 6 minutes later…: I don’t know why I am going to sound apologetic about this, but I have to say that the book was better than the movie. There were scenes in the book that just tore your soul out and made you react viscerally to what was happening, and the movie just skimmed over those parts as if to say, “Yah. This happened. So what?”

Two examples stick out like Donatella Versace’s cheekbones (Have you seen pictures of her lately? Will someone let her know that she looks like Gollum? If I had spinach in my teeth and was completely oblivious to it, I’d want someone to tell me.): 

The scene where we learn Isaac and Monica have broken up. In the book, Issac isn’t merely teary-eyed, and lachrymose and all ‘it’s no big deal,’ about it. No. John Green uses the term ‘wailing’ throughout that chapter. It takes Isaac a long time to start talking, and when he does, it’s a huge cathartic scene of even more wailing and complete and utter rip-your-heart out sobbing while he’s smashing Gus’s trophies. Isaac in the book was devastated. I felt none of that in the film. 

And THEN… later on, they get to the egging scene, the impetus of which was completely glossed over. In the book, Hazel remarks how horrible it was of Monica to dump Isaac because she couldn’t handle him being blind, and Augustus with his sense of justice plans revenge. As the eggs smash against the car, you are cheering at the massive Schadenfreude you are experiencing in the book. In the movie, however, Monica just comes up in the conversation, and Hazel’s all, “That’s kind of shitty what she did to you.” Isaac kind of shrugs it off, and Augustus says, “Hazel Grace, ya got $4?” And egging ensues.

And then the filmmakers screw up the whole climax of the scene! In the book, Monica’s mother comes out and starts yelling at the kids, as any realistic mother should, and Augustus lays the smack down on her and basically says that Monica deserves this revenge and tells her to go back into the house. Which she does. And then you cheer.

In the film, they play it off as if it was comic relief. Monica’s mother comes out almost light-heartedly laughing at these kids egging her daughter’s car, and then Gus, out of the clear blue sky says his revenge spiel, and the mom kind of gets that beat of bemused confusion typical of the Vacation franchise. And she exits the frame with a, “kids will be kids” attitude. What? What?! 

But the second really disappointing part was the confrontation with van Houten, phoned in by Willem Dafoe. The scene in the book hits you like a freight train when Hazel’s idyllic expectations were smashed into a million tiny pieces. Van Houten’s cruelty was equally matched by Hazel’s bewilderment and disillusionment. In the film, Dafoe’s van Houten just sort of casually insults Hazel. And he doesn’t even bother even acting a little drunk, which is really odd because afterwards Hazel and Gus both keep referring to him as ‘the drunk.’ 

But hats off to Shailene Woodley. She matched Dafoe’s “I said my lines, now where’s my paycheck?” energy with equal amounts of brutal honesty and catharsis. It’s too bad that her “Go fuck yourself!” line at the end fell flat at the feet of Dafoe’s apathetic performance. She really did step up to the plate in this film and gave it all she had. I thought Ansel Elgort was miscast. He didn’t have half the charisma that Gus has in the book. 

And the whole Anne Frank House scene was kind of hilarious. It is discovered that van Houten’s assistant, Lidewij, set up the whole meeting with him and Hazel & Gus, and it blows up in her face. So, where does she send the girl who has to wear oxygen 24/7? A house with punishing stairs to climb! Hazel has to climb at least 4 flights of stairs, each one more grueling than the last, and there is Lidewij, almost enjoying the torture she’s inflicting on poor Hazel. 

And then H&G kiss randomly, and people clap randomly. The book dealt with this much better, too.

Final Thoughts: With the exception of Shailene Woodley, the movie completely missed the mark on casting, and could have been just as hard-hitting as the book was. It was a good try though, but I’m hoping when they remake this movie in another 20 years, they’ll finally get it right. 3/6 slices of pizza. (No tissues were harmed in the watching of this film.)