The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

Swedish title:
“The Poseidon
Catastrophe”

Directed by: Allen Neame

Written by: Paul Gallico, Stirling Silliphant, Wendell Mayes

Starring: Gene Hackman, Red Buttons, Ernest Borgnine

Running Time: 1 hour, 57 minutes

Rating: PG

Pre-Conceived Notions: I am expecting something along the lines of Titanic, but instead of the boat sinking 30 minutes before the end, it starts sinking 30 minutes into the movie. Some people survive; some people don’t, and in the end everyone learns a valuable lesson: Shelley Winters curses every boat she steps foot on. True story.

Why I Haven't Seen This Film: I have a fear of drowning?

From the IMDb trivia page: [The movie was] shot in sequence, taking advantage of the fact that the principals became dirtier and more tattered and suffered injuries—some real and some artificial—as they progressed.

1 hour, 57 minutes later…: I am completely exhausted. Utterly and completely exhausted. From the time they say, “Happy New Year!” at the beginning, it’s about 1 hour and 45 minutes of the Seven Layers of Hell. And to think that the actors themselves did most of the stunts. I really hope they got paid a whole hell of a lot of money to be put through that kind of physical stress, because, wow. 

Let’s get right into the meat and potatoes of this whole thing: There were characters you loved, namely Gene Hackman’s character, the Reverend, who would never give up no matter what happened to them. Mrs. Rosen, played by Shelley Winters, was a really sweet woman who tried to keep positive throughout the whole ordeal. 

And then there were those characters who you wanted to smack. Mr. Rogo, played very intensely by Ernest Borgnine, who didn’t know when to shut up and was more of a hinderance than a help, and then there was the that singer girl who was the most useless person ever. Every time they’d have to go through an obstacle, she’d crumple up and be useless. I kept shouting at the screen, “Dump her! She’s dead weight! She’s slowing you down!” I’m curious to think what my neighbors were thinking. 

Final Thoughts: A whole pizza. 6 out of 6 slices. I’d love to know if they did a documentary of the filming of this. I mean, there fires raging in the background, gallons of water flooding everywhere, and then all of those tunnels and ladders and stuff they had to climb. Please. Go out and rent this movie. Not only is it feature one of John Williams earliest scores, but you’ll get the experience of being in the ship with them trying to be rescued yourself.